When preparing care for an adult with Alzheimer’s (still in early stages), what changes can I make now to prepare for the future challenges? Lisa F., Morton, IL

Think of what you can afford to commit later on down the road. The average caregiver can easily spend up to 20 hours (or more) a week caring for someone with this disease. This can obviously cause one to have to quit or cut back on work.  Some basic things you can do now to prepare are:

• Prepare legal documents in advance (any possible future inheritance to be changed
• Align insurance with future needs (review beneficiary arrangements)
• Get in touch with the whole family, get them on board with any plans now if possible
• Investigate, and potentially contact, home health and facility options
• Monitor the disease, be prepared for changes before they are necessary
• Stay informed! Be realistic.  Ask questions and seek out professional guidance

It is important to remember you are not alone. Utilizing tools now can take you a long way in the future.

How should I determine which assisted living options might be best to consider for my parents? -Anonymous, Peoria, IL

The better question in this regard is “what do I need to ask?” The idea here is that you need to ask yourself, your parents, and anyone else involved what needs have arisen already, and where the future will take you. For instance, depending on a diagnosis the answers here could change greatly.

If considering home health care the questions you should ask are things like:

•       A tough question - When should my parents stop driving
•      Who will take care of them
•      Who will pay for it

·         Is home health a long-term or short-term solution

Similar questions can be posed for facilities, and you can find a good deal of information on local facilities at http://www.livingbyyourdesigninc.com/facilities.php

The key to any plan for later years is tailoring to fit your family’s specific needs.  Remember, your parents are the captain of their ship.

In recent posts and articles you have mentioned “preparing legal documents,” what exactly does this mean beyond just assembling a will, and what should I watch out for? -Suzanne K, Peoria, IL

Suzanne,

Jargon and industry terms are sometimes difficult to understand, for many families going through this time in their lives. When we say the term ‘legal documents,’ typically we are referring to Powers of Attorney and a will, or any preparatory legally binding document that gives direction for the future.

Primarily, this includes the following, all of which should be discussed in detail with all parties involved and should only be done through a lawyer:

·         

• Getting a will written that includes advance directives and wishes.
•  Include POA (powers of attorney) for healthcare and finances.
•  In some cases a trust may be in order.

There is a lot to say on this matter, and each family will have different needs. My recommendation is to secure legal advice if there have been changes since you last had legal documents drawn up, and assess where your family’s greatest needs are. 

Question : I have a parent with early to mid-stage Alzheimer’s and am concerned about potential future needs. I have some ideas for how I would like this process to go for my family, but am not sure how or when it is appropriate to bring this up. When is the right time to start talks with my other parent and siblings? -Zachary S. Princeton, IL

This can be a difficult question to pose for families dealing with any chronic illness. Due to Alzheimer’s trademark neurodegenerative properties it can be especially difficult. Although it may be difficult to speak of at this time, the pros to planning for this kind of thing typically outweigh the cons. The outcomes of any crises that arise later are likely to be far worse without a plan in place. If a facility is needed on short notice the family may have little choice where to send their loved one, and will instead have to settle for wherever openings are present. These types of scrambles could lead to you, or your siblings, missing work and dealing with a good deal of unnecessary stress. My advice is to consider what will motivate your other parent or siblings in to action to plan for the what-if situations. These could include the family home, residential accommodations, power of attorney, etc. 

What advice do you have for an adult with children looking to plan for their parent’s final years? -Susan N. Morton, IL

If you are in this sandwich generation (age 45 -55 helping parents and with children at home), then planning now is the best advice to give. Some action steps to take at this time will be sorting out legal, financial, residential, mental and physical healthcare elements prior to a crisis. Engage any siblings you may have in the planning and figure out how to begin involving them now so that one of you is not bearing all future legal and, potentially, financial burdens alone. 

How do I get my parents to listen and act on my suggestions?  They need help and I have been fairly distant and they just won't listen to me.  Deb - East Peoria, IL

This is  great question.  Many times if an adult child and family are actively involved in getting together and helping their parents starting around age 60 or so, parents tend to listen and follow the advise of their adult children more so.  This question is very good and look to my May Column in Healthy Cells to read more. 

QUESTIONS PEOPLE ASK

If dad has good health and mom is having memory problems, how can we best arrange the sale of their home? George - Pekin, IL

The best way to prepare for a future financial event is to have a financial power of attorney in place. Secure legal advice to obtain this document.

My father is on Medicare.  Will Medicare pay for all nursing home services if our family is not able to do so?  Marilyn - Peoria, IL

For (Original) Medicare to pay for skilled nursing home (SNF) services, a your father would need to have been hospitalized as an inpatient for 3 days and then confined in the SNF within 30 days.  Medicare would pay the first 20 days if be receiving a high level of skilled care.  Medicare would continue paying for skilled care with a co-pay as long as 100 days in a benefit period.  Ability to pay is not a factor.

Mom lives with us and has dementia. We would like to attend our daughter's wedding Denver, how and where can we secure care and make sure mom is safe? Ellen - Chillicothe, IL

You have several options, but perhaps the best is to look to an assisted living facility where mom can stay for several weeks while you are gone. You will need to privately pay, but I believe you will find the price fair and about the same as a hotel room.

My brother is in an assisted living and has a long term care policy.  Can i get help to make a claim to help pay for these expenses? Gene - Peoria, IL

The way the LTC claim is presented may be critical in getting a claim which meets criteria paid quickly and correctly.  We can help you examine his situation and help him make claim.

My mother has a small dog that is like family.  Would she be able to keep her dog if she moved to a retirement community? Mary - Canton, IL

Some, but not all, retirement communities allow residents to keep their small pets.  Usually, a dog would need to be 30 lbs or less.

**Disclaimer: Names and places have been changed to protect identity. **