Question : I have a parent with early to mid-stage Alzheimer’s and am concerned about potential future needs. I have some ideas for how I would like this process to go for my family, but am not sure how or when it is appropriate to bring this up. When is the right time to start talks with my other parent and siblings? -Zachary S. Princeton, IL

This can be a difficult question to pose for families dealing with any chronic illness. Due to Alzheimer’s trademark neurodegenerative properties it can be especially difficult. Although it may be difficult to speak of at this time, the pros to planning for this kind of thing typically outweigh the cons. The outcomes of any crises that arise later are likely to be far worse without a plan in place. If a facility is needed on short notice the family may have little choice where to send their loved one, and will instead have to settle for wherever openings are present. These types of scrambles could lead to you, or your siblings, missing work and dealing with a good deal of unnecessary stress. My advice is to consider what will motivate your other parent or siblings in to action to plan for the what-if situations. These could include the family home, residential accommodations, power of attorney, etc. 

What advice do you have for an adult with children looking to plan for their parent’s final years? -Susan N. Morton, IL

If you are in this sandwich generation (age 45 -55 helping parents and with children at home), then planning now is the best advice to give. Some action steps to take at this time will be sorting out legal, financial, residential, mental and physical healthcare elements prior to a crisis. Engage any siblings you may have in the planning and figure out how to begin involving them now so that one of you is not bearing all future legal and, potentially, financial burdens alone.